True Legends: Kill Thy Neighbor
by Adire Ashcroft
Summary: Finally Link our hero gets to settle down and live in peace. However this peace won't last for long because Link is expecting new neighbors! Link is going to have to deal with some harsh realities of his newfound "peace". Will Link be able to make a good impression on his new neighbors? Or will Link return to his wandering ways? Sequel to True Legends: Ghirahim's Demise. Please R
1. One: Ugly Side of A Hero

Note: Sequel to True Legends:Ghirahim's Demise is up. This is chapter one. Basically Link's life has gone to hell and he's bored. Can you imagine what it's like to be running for years chasing evil and then one day settling down? It must be a pretty difficult change in lifestyle. I apologize if some of the characters seem OOC. As said before I don't own Zelda (I'll keep dreaming).

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Kill Thy Neighbor

One: Ugly Side of a Hero

It had been about two months after Ghirahim's incident.

_Finally I can relax and be at peace,_ Link thought.

During those two months Link had developed a nasty habit. Without a quest, Link began to start doing radical and dangerous things to relive his days as a hero. The hero felt he had become useless and sought some kind of purpose; he felt empty.

So began Link's drinking problem. He'd bring as much beer as he could carry to his treehouse (that's right he lives in a treehouse) and binge; drink until he forgot his own name. The next day he would be in bed all day, comatose because of a hangover.

At times the hero had violent tendencies, but at heart he was passionate and kind.

No one knew of Link's problem because he had decided to keep it secret. He was also secretly ashamed of himself for falling so far and succumbing to such a petty addiction. With all the moving going on, no one had noticed how much Link's demeanor had changed.

However there were some notable differences: Once Ghirahim had come knocking at Link's door crying,"Good morning darling!"

"FUCK OFF!" Link had screamed, still recovering from an agonizing hangover.

This outburst had scared the demon; so Ghirahim vowed never to wake up Link again.

Link had recently taken up a job at a place called Hyrulian Pizza because they gave free booze to employees (Booze provided by Fado btw). Although the earnings were rather meager, Link made the best of what he had.

Every morning, afternoon, and evening Cawlin (AKA Piggy) called Hyrulian Pizza.

Everyday without fail, Link would have to bring Cawlin pizza multiple times.

One day Link had gotten so fed up with Cawlin's antics he yelled," Fuck! WHY CAN'T YOU ORDER ALL THE PIZZAS AT THE SAME TIME?! You stupid prick! Do you know how annoying it is to come to the same house ten times in a single day? WHY DON'T YOU JUST LIVE AT HYRULIAN PIZZA?!"

Cawlin simply replied,"Because I have certain times I need to eat."

"Why do you always eat pizza?!"

"It's my sustenance." Cawlin huffed.

Link growled and left. Although Cawlin was one of Hyrulian Pizza's best customers, Link couldn't help but feel a twinge of annoyance.

Now; Link sat half dead and drunk out of his mind.

_Ah man I'm going to be late for work_, Link thought miserably.

Link changed his clothes quickly and sped out the door.

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Afterword

I failed to mention that Fado is Link's boss at Hyrulian Pizza. Nothing much happened but I'll update soon. See ya!


	2. Two: Announcement

Note: Hello! Looks like I'm on a roll. The ideas keep flowing (except for Untold Truths I'm still stumped). This chapter will be about Bo and Illia. I kind of made Bo crazy... Read on.

PS. Bo could also be interpreted as Body Odor. Lol.

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Kill Thy Neighbor

Two: Announcement

Long ago Bo used to be the mayor of a tiny village called Ordon. Once the Twilight Invasion struck, Bo had never been the same again.

He now guards his house like a castle and lets no one; not even his own daughter set foot on his lawn.

Bo's famous saying is,"Get off my lawn or I'll shoot ya."

However Bo is not always nice enough to issue a warning before shooting.

The man even went as far as to have a guard tower.

Bo will shoot _anyone_ he sees as a threat with his shotgun. Bo has every weapon imaginable; from guns to death rays.

The first incident occurred when Bo shot Link:

Bo watched Link warily thinking to himself, _The lad is getting awfully close to my lawn. Didn't think it come down to this but, I must shoot him. He is a potential threat. He's walking here too quickly... COULD IT BE?! A BREAK IN?! Link wants to breach my barriers. AN INVASION!_

Bo's last thought has formulated his resolve and he fired at Link.

"OW! BO WHAT THE FUCK?!" Link bellowed.

"Ya got too close to my lawn!"

Bo had gone senile, basically he was a crazy old man. Bo was bald, fat, and not particularly attractive.

Yet Bo knew there was something amiss in the neighborhood; it was almost like a sixth sense and he always tell when something was wrong. It was a gut-feeling.

"ILLIA! Illia get yer ass down here now!" Bo hollered.

Illia appeared momentarily by her father's side. Bo sat in his rocking chair with his shotgun next to him.

"Yes father?" Illia asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Are you giving me attitude, Illia?"

"No sir."

"Good. Now what took you so long?"

"I was making a pie for the _new neighbors._" she replied.

"New..." Bo seemed unable to interpret the phrase," NEIGHBORS?!"

"Yes!"

Illia realized she probably shouldn't have mentioned that to her father.

"Illia, honey get in the house now. We're having a lock down."

Illia began to protest," But the pie-"

"No but's, get in the house NOW!" Bo screamed.

Illia scurried into the house knowing her efforts to calm her father were futile.

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Afterword

We've all established that Bo is WAY TOO overprotective of his house and his daughter. I can see why Link didn't tap that XD I think that sumo wrestling match with Bo scared Link away. Next chapter will go back to Link. Have any ideas for my story? Feel free to PM me. Constructive criticism is welcome. Bye bye.


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